Daniel's Birth Story

In honor of Daniel's recent birthday, I'm going to share his birth story. Adam and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on May 3, 2004. That night we enjoyed a nice dinner out and lots of conversation. In that conversation, we decided that it was the perfect time for us to enhance our lives with a child...

I had the greatest pregnancy. The feeling of having your child squirm inside your body is one of those secret blessings God has to offer moms. He was a huge bump right out front and I couldn't have felt better.

Flash forward... June 29, 2005, 3:35 in the afternoon, DCH Regional Medical Center, Tuscaloosa, AL. Daniel Adam was born. 21.5 inches long and weighing in at 6 lbs. 7 ozs. I was in love. Adam and I couldn't imagine loving this child more than we did on that very day.

We dedicated our lives to raising Daniel to love our Lord and to yearn to learn more about Him. It was a daunting task, but we knew with much prayer, and the support of family and church family, it would be done.

We watched him learn and grow for 5 years. Last June, my mother passed away. It was a learning time for Daniel. I couldn't tell him with certainty that she would go to heaven. He, of course, had a host of questions.

Why wouldn't she go to heaven? Because I'm not sure that she ever asked Jesus to live in her heart.

What does it mean for Jesus to live in your heart? It means that you know that you have sinned and should be punished, but Jesus died on the cross so that you don't have to be. It means that you have asked God to forgive you of your sins and thank Him for sending Jesus to die for you so that you will be with God when you die.

If I'm not with God, where would I be? You would go to Hell. Hell is a place where there is pain that never ends and screams that never stop.

Daniel decided that Hell was not the place for him and on July 4, 2010 Daniel asked Jesus to live in His heart forever. He was baptized the first Sunday in August, the day before school started.

As joyous as Daniel's birthday was for our family, the day he was welcomed into the Kingdom was even better. There was so much joy in my heart I thought it might overflow! This is my prayer for mothers everywhere. To know that their children walk in truth.

The Education Dilemma

The debate over where Daniel would begin Kindergarten began a year and a half ago. Public school? Private school? Home school? The options were limited. We live in a relatively rural area on the Alabama/Mississippi state line, near Columbus, MS. I had heard good things about the public schools in that area of Mississippi. The public schools in our county, however, leave much to be desired. The one private school that is close to us didn't seem ideal for our family either and if we chose a public school in MS, there was the whole issue of us living in AL and seriously lying about that so we could be in that school district. Then there were several private schools in the Columbus area. One of those might be an option. And, lastly, there was homeschooling...

I believe that parents are the very first and, when done prayerfully and fervently, the very best educators for their own children. So, I began to research homeschool ideas. I talked to several parents who had homeschooled their children, even some of my peers, and drew from their experiences. I weighed cost, benefits, current issues, curricula, legal aspects, etc. I am certain that Daniel and I would have done well educationally. I had all the facts.

Then I began to research the private schools in the area. One was too small and offered inconsistent educational opportunities. One was too large and was very exclusive. One was Catholic. One was a very small school seemed to ignore the social status and influence and offer opportunities uniformly.

So I was educated. My husband and I weighed our options carefully. We prayed for an answer. We prayed constantly for safe, educational, worshipful, God-centered environment where Daniel could learn academics, life lessons, and spiritual lessons. We prayed and prayed. One part of me felt as though I would be doing Daniel an injustice by keeping him home for school when he is such a social child. I never felt peace about it.

The answer to our prayers came two-fold: First, no school situation will be perfect. We had to choose the BEST option for our family. Every school has problems, but some problems are worth dealing with. The second part of our answer came with a visit to Daniel's current school.

When Daniel and I first visited the school, we were made welcome. And the school (staff, teachers and administration) went out of their ways to make us feel as though we belonged. Even the students nodded politely in the hall or held doors for us as we toured. The curriculum used at the school was the curriculum I had settled on should we homeschool. But I remained skeptical so we kept on praying. I dropped back in at the school twice more to see if the atmosphere was always the same or if they were putting their best foot forward because we were on tour. Daniel and I met with the elementary school principal. She was lovely and assured us that Daniel would be loved from the very first day. After several visits to this quaint little school and reading the handbook, mission statement, and other documents, we felt a nudge in that direction.

We enrolled. I began praying for Daniel's teacher immediately. I prayed that God would prepare her heart and hands to love Daniel and teach him in all aspects. And I prayed that God would make Daniel receptive to her love and teaching.

We went to the Open House for new students where we met Daniel's teacher and other students' families and felt right at home. It was the very same atmosphere and feeling that we'd had on every other occasion we'd been to the school. I decided that what you see is what you get.

The first day of school came. I walked Daniel in. He kissed me goodbye and sat to play with his friends. His teacher assured me that he would be fine and I never looked back. When I picked him up that afternoon, Daniel spoke the words that brought great peace to my heart. He said, "Momma, I feel like I've been at church all day! Everybody loves me! I can't wait to go back tomorrow!" Saying he felt as though he'd been at church spoke great volumes about the teachers at this school. He felt comfortable, loved, safe...

After Daniel's first year there, I can confidently say that Daniel is receiving a quality education centered on Christ. He's learning to live and love others. I couldn't imagine him being any other place, even homeschooled. If you live in the Columbus area and are looking for quality Christian education, I encourage you to visit this school. If you're interested or just curious, leave a comment and I'll be glad to share everything I know about it. Keep in mind that what might be right for my family may not be right for yours but at least know your options.

One Proud Momma....

Daniel is a boy after my own heart. We have discovered a book series that he just begs to read constantly. He LOVES Encyclopedia Brown, Boy Detective. So much so that he'd rather me read to him than watch his favorite television show.

But, like most good things, there's a catch. The catch is that for every mystery I read to him, he must spend 5 minutes reading a chapter book to me. Today, he's read an entire Little Bear book to me and most of a Franklin book! In return, he's gotten 4 mysteries!

Daniel is such a good reader. He has learned so many sight words just through exposure over the summer. It's very exciting to me because I'm such an avid reader. And tonight, as I tucked Daniel in after the final mystery, I realized something.

I'm incredibly proud of Daniel becoming a fluent and confident reader because I enjoy reading so much. That's the way parents are... And so is God. God is an incredibly avid lover. He loves all things and is perfect at it. Daniel is becoming a better reader because he practices. Hmm... Shouldn't I become a better lover through practice? Daniel learns longer words and builds his vocabulary by reading. Shouldn't I learn different ways to show the love of Christ through loving? Daniel is learning to appreciate different types of books because I expose him to different types of books. God exposes me to different types of people everyday. Shouldn't I learn to appreciate them as well?

Wow... I've often said that God constantly uses my children to teach me more and more about Himself and tonight was no different. I pray that God opens my eyes and heart to new and different ways to show others that I love them just the way they are. Thank you, Lord, for those beautiful children You have entrusted to my care and please continue to use them to teach me. Please teach me to love them in ways that they know it comes from You.

Father's Day

My earthly father went to join my Heavenly Father in 1992. I was only 10 years old but I remember that day as if it were yesterday. Oh how I missed that man! I did find some comfort however when distant family or other people who knew Daddy would say, "Oh! You must be Ray's little girl!" I would beam with pride and only nod... You see, I was very shy back then. Then they would sometimes say, "She's got her father's eyes!" and how my heart would swell! Being reminded that I looked so much like Daddy almost made the pain bearable.

Now, nearly 19 years later, as I gaze into my sweet girl's eyes, I think so often, "She's got my Daddy's eyes..." and tears spring forth at the thought. She looks so much like him (and me!) that it's a blessing just to gaze at her sometimes. I miss him so much.

I wanted so badly for Daddy to give me away to the husband God had chosen for me. And I just know that he and Daniel would be hunting and fishing buddies. I know that Blakley would have Pawpaw Ray wrapped around her tiniest finger. I miss his huge bearhugs and those games of catch.

As proud as I was to know that I shared the looks and coloring of my earthly Daddy, I want to be known for more than that. I want people to see Jesus in me, even more than I ever wanted them to see Ray Hemphill in me. And that's a whole lot! I want others to look back on my life and say,

She had her father's eyes, her father's eyes

eyes that found the good in things when good was not around

eyes that found the source of help when help would not be found

Eyes full of compassion, seein' every pain

Knowin' what you're goin' through and feelin it the same

Borrowed from the chorus of "Father's Eyes" by Amy Grant

I'm very thankful to my husband's father for setting a godly example for my husband so that he may be a godly example for my son. And I'm very thankful for the other godly men in my life who walk the walk daily. Thank you, Lord, for creating the hearts of Daddies everywhere.

And suddenly, I'm old!

Confession: I've been avoiding this blog. And... I've been avoiding my own thoughts. But there's a good reason... Well, relatively.

It all started on Monday. I went in for my dreaded annual ob/gyn check up. We discovered a few things right off: My iron was low. Nothing new. I've been anemic for years. My blood pressure was high. That was new because my BP is usually a bit on the low side but still not alot to worry about. Even the physical exam went well. Then we discussed my "symptoms". I prefer to call them complaints, but let's not get too technical. Hot flashes, night sweats, headaches, absentmindedness, mood swings, and increasingly terrible 7-10 days every month. I had joked for months that I was experiencing "The Change" and adult-onset ADD and now I was sure my biggest fears would be confirmed. I was going through "The Change".

As it happened, I was not going through the change. My hormones were all off kilter and wreaking havoc in any way imaginable. So, the doctor proposed two solutions. The first was an endometrial ablasion. The would only stop the monthly flow and would only be about 80% effective at that. Second, and here's where I glazed over, was a hysterectomy. I stopped listening. I wrote it off and convinced myself that the ablasion was the easy way to go.

After much discussion at home and again with the doctor, it was determined that the hysterectomy would be inevitable in a couple years even if the ablasion worked now. My doctor encouraged me to to have the hysterectomy now because I would heal easier now rather than when I'm older and it would prevent any opportunity for cancerous cells in the future.

So there it is. I'm 29 years old and I'm scheduled to have my uterus removed in two weeks. That sounded like a death sentence for my youth. I cried for a full 48 hours. A major part of what makes me a woman would no longer be a part of me. I would be OLD. Women in their 40's and 50's and older have hysterectomies. Not a vital 29 year old.

I was embarrassed. I had to tell my husband (and others) that my "woman parts" aren't functioning properly. I'm still embarrassed.

Then I did the only thing I knew to do. I prayed. I prayed for contentment. I prayed for understanding for me and those around me. I prayed for sanity. I prayed for peace and healing.

And I got it all. I've come to accept and even embrace that this is the best thing for my body and that a uterus doesn't define who I am. A hysterectomy is just a procedure on my physical body, not my eternity. I was given two beautiful, healthy children and now the childbearing season of my life is over. The childbearing season of my life was over before talk of a hysterectomy so the procedure itself shouldn't be defining in anyway. It just seems so certain and permanent.

I'm learning to define myself in Him, rather than in me. I've begun to pray that I might decrease so that He will increase in me. This will NOT effect who I am or who He wants me to be. I will not let this get me sidetracked. I'm not quite ready to share this with the world, but I've come to grips that the pros outweigh the cons and that this is not who I am.

So on June 30th I will be having a hysterectomy. *said confidently*

Misty Watercolor Memories...

I thank my God every time I remember you.

Philippians 1:3

Memories are a gift from God. Memories bring comfort, feelings of happiness, love, sadness, loneliness, regret, lessons learned, caution, direction, and the list goes on and on and on. We are told to "remember the Sabbath" and to "remember our Creator" and to "remember the poor". In those ways "remember" is used to mean "acknowledge, or show reverence". To have a memory, you bring it to mind or think of it again.

I sat in the quiet tonight and committed myself to my memories for a while and realized just how blessed my life has been.

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of memory. I know that when you hung on that cross You were remembering me. Thank You for my eternal life.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Dealing with anxiety is NOT my strong suit. I'm a nail biter... Literally. This week has been quite stressful for many reasons, not the least of which is a huge standardized test that I'm taking tomorrow. The Praxis 2. The test to be certified in Mississippi to teach preschool and kindergarten.

My anxiety is legitimate. I haven't TOUCHED my child development texts since I socked them away in the attic but tonight I pulled them down to see just how unprepared I am... MISTAKE! Vygotsky, Piaget and Freud... OH MY!

In my reading tonight, the "let your requests be known to God" part really stuck out. I sometimes assume that because God knows my heart that He knows my needs and desires. After all, he made my basic needs and instilled the desires of my heart. But that's not the point at all...

He wants me to ask. He wants me to turn my requests, desires and needs over to Him. He wants me to release them so He can make them whole again. Why do I insist on clinging to issues that I can't change? The Father knows my requests before I ever give them voice but I must let them be known to Him. It's a matter of trust, faith, and dependence.

So here it is... God, I pray for calm nerves tomorrow. I pray for total recall from notes, text or other information. I pray for the correct words to erupt onto the paper from my pencil and onto the page. My God is so big!

Because God Made the Stars to Shine...

Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.

Daniel 12:3

Daniel and friends were catching fireflies by the handfuls tonight. Don't worry. It was strictly catch and release. The fireflies were so thick that you couldn't wave a hand without bumping one. As I sat watching this magic moment, I started thinking about just how big my God is.

Bioluminescence. Yep, that's what it's called when the fireflies light up. If I remember correctly from Biology I, there are very few species that are capable of this miracle. There are fungi and bacteria that produce light, and there are a couple of fish and a squid.

And they all do it for different purposes. The fireflies produce light to attract mates. The angler fish produces a light just in front of its mouth to attract prey. Again, if memory serves me, there is some sort of critter that uses its light for communication.

I could really learn some lessons from the animal world... My light should attract others. The light of Jesus should shine so brightly through me that others would come into a love affair with Him. I should use my light to "catch" others for Him, to communicate God's desire to be intimate with His children.

Ok, yeah, I know science tries to explain everything and bioluminescence is no different. (A chemical and an enzyme react with oxygen to create light.) But who engineered the chemical-enzyme-oxygen reaction? That wasn't happenstance. It's a miracle. To see my children chase one miracle after another was almost overwhelming!

If God put together those minute details to make a bug light up in the dark, how much more effort has He put into my life? Oh, that I might seek His wisdom and "shine like the brightness of the heavens" and lead many to Jesus and shine "like the stars for ever and ever".

I pray God will use my light to shine the path to Him.

Isaiah 40:31

But those who wait on the LORD

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

Just a little comfort for bedtime. :-) This bit of scripture inspired the writing a the old hymn "On Eagle's Wings". My daddy's mother would sing this softly in my ear as she rocked me when I was very small. When our pianist began playing the melody at choir practice, I nearly fainted as the scent of Mawmaw's "Charlie" perfume wafted through the air. Strange how songs can evoke such memories... Here's the chorus:

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,

Bear you on the breath of dawn,

Make you to shine like the sun,

And hold you in the palm of His hand.

Lemonade!

Life gave me lemonade and I can’t imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I’m a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade
Thanks for the lemonade!
Lemonade by Chris Rice

Today, I made lemonade. The premixed "CountryTime" kind. My absolute favorite drink of summer. It was the last of the last canister that I had bought last summer, and I made myself use it first so that it didn't go to waste. Apparently after several months, all the "sour" settles to the bottom. The first glass (and all subsequent glasses) was extremely tart. So tart that neither of my children would drink it. I, however, was determined NOT to waste this remnant of last year's mix. Then came the lesson of the day.

"When life throws you lemons..." Well, we all know the rest of that cliche. Simply put, make the best of what you're given. Sometimes, in fact most times, the lemons life throws are a direct result of a decision I've made. Example: Today I was so determined to do things my way (use the remaining mix from last year) that I got lemons (EXTREMELY, almost unbearably tart, lemonade) and I chose to make lemonade (drink the yucky beverage anyway). I made the best of what I was given... Right?

Not exactly. You see, if I was going to make the best of what I had, I would have tossed last year's mix and opened the new canister. But I didn't. The yucky beverage was a direct result of my decision to use old mix. Some situations in life are exactly the same way. I make a bad decision. A decision that I may know for certain is directly against the will of God. And that decision yields an undesirable result. Instead of taking my lemons before the Father and asking him for forgiveness for turning away from Him and having him help me resolve the issue, I try to make lemonade all on my own. And it's awful.

I'm left with feelings of regret, guilt, remorse, inadequacy... And I'm also left trying to find a way out. Why can't I just learn to listen? Why can't my will diminish and why can't I let His will consume me? No, I wasn't promised a life without trials but I could help reduce those self-inflicted trials by listening to that still small voice that comes through so loud and clear.

I pray that God gets in the way of my will. I pray that he puts a desire in my heart only for Him and that I decrease so that He can increase in me.

Hebrews 12:1-2 from The Message

Do you see what this means--all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running--and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed--that exhilarating finish in and with God--he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.

Hebrews 12:1-2 from The Message

Feeling nostalgic, I started to consider all those people in my life who had an influence--positive or negative--on this life of mine. There's sweet Miss Mary who sits in the back of the church every Sunday who raises her hands in praise and offers the feeble but faithful "Amen!" when the preacher gets it right. There's the fireball preacher's wife who stays the course through all the criticism and emotional highs and lows. There's the best friend that has seen me at my worst and at my best and still prays for me diligently. There are my sweet children who hang on my every word and are soothed by my touch.

Miss Mary was a trailblazer. She saw the church dwindle to nearly nothing but through pray and diligence now basks in the glory of her Lord every Sunday as the church thrives. Miss Mary has seen children born and elders meet Jesus for more years than I'll probably live. She's experienced joy and heartache. Miss Mary is a tribute to the pioneers. She paved the way for our new generation and whole-heartedly cheers us on.

The preacher's wife loves her husband and is a pioneer by his side. Together, they are blazing a new trail. The path Jesus is creating at this moment in time. They are working to train the pioneers of the future of the church. Preacher and wife learn from the pioneers of the past, trust God to lead them on the path of the present, and cheer on the pioneers of the future. What an undertaking! But, oh! How equipped they are!

My best friend. We are learning together. I find our conversations have taken a turn from the superficial in's and out's of the day's events to deeper, more meaningful, spiritual topics. We've come a long way together. Despite distances and time, God has used us to encourage one another in our separate journeys. Although we are at very different places on life's journey, He always puts words in our mouths to exalt or admonish the other.

Daniel and Blakley are part of my journey. I've become a stronger Christian because of them. God has entrusted them to my care and has used them to mold me into the servant He would have me be. There is nothing more humbling than your own child looking into your face pointing out your shortcomings. They are only beginning this race.

These are just a few, but God has used all sorts of people in my life to achieve His ultimate purpose. Whether through encouragement or discouragement, I must remember: Christ endured it all. He experienced shame like no other man. Now he's sitting at His Holy Father's righteous right hand, preparing a place for me. Each day I experience trials of all shapes and sizes. Each day I must decide to walk in Jesus' holy footsteps, or stomp my way through the muck and mire of my own chosen path. Too often I stumble and fall into the pit of despair, but every time He plucks me out of the slimy pit and sets me back on His path for me.

As I blaze this trail called life, I must set my eyes on His example. While I can't live up to it alone, with Jesus as my example and interceptor, I will live in Glory with the Father, offering never-ending praises. I pray that Jesus gives me the strength and guidance to run this race and offer a worthy example for those who travel behind me. I pray He never lets me quit.